I was bored

I did that thing where I felt really able and capable for a while, and overextended myself again. I kind of knew it would happen before it even began, and yet, somehow it just all unraveled that way.

Yesterday I was upset bc I’d walked all the way downtown, just to have miscommunicated in some way, and didn’t even have an appointment. Which means my appointment on Thursday is also canceled, which was what yesterday’s appointment was in preparation for.

Today was supposed to be my interview as deaf blind intervenor. I must have picked something up on Monday when I volunteered bc started feeling ill last night. I assumed it was various other legitimate factors, and went to bed. Woke up this morning feeling like death, and barely able to move, so I sent my very nice interviewer an email, and when I didn’t hear back, I called, just to make sure.

She messaged me back rather quickly, expressed regret, and mentioned that my file would be on hold until next hiring period. Disappointing, but understandable. I got an email not to long ago with a firm date for reschedule, which is exciting, and that definitely makes me feel much better.

My volunteer supervisor pulled me aside before I left to make sure I knew to “keep an eye on the website” specifically for “job postings”, so I think people are seeing things, or abilities, that I don’t. (She also said I was “intuitive”, just to humblebrag a bit…)

I am exploring a data entry position as well, which would be nice to be able to do at home, as per body pain issues, so we’ll see how that goes.

There are so many opportunities presenting themselves, and I have so many other projects on the go, as well as more little side ventures, and online experiments. None of that’s even mentioning my Big Goal (which is Top Secret).

So yesterday, when I showed up for No Appointment, and I was wandering around downtown, my phone juice rapidly depleting, I ended up at the library. My refuge. I went to my favourite section, found a book by a favourite author, found my favourite spot, plugged in, settled in, and spent an hour there.

On the way home, I walked a different way (an influence that always whispers of my Dad)… I kept my head up, and smiled at strangers. The leaves were so vibrant against the grey sky. The clouds were perfectly moody. And although my foot was going numb, my ankles were screaming, and my back was about to collapse, I was just grateful to be able to breathe fresh air, and take on the eyes of strangers, and end up at the library even if my appointment had been cancelled.

Healing almost killed me, I swear (more another time).

But, look at me… Just look at me, living again!

Xoxo, love you all ♡ thank you so much for reading!